Emotions

On Friday I was sitting at the coffee shop with my youngest sister and Berkley.  Of course we were playing with Berkley, sipping on coffee and chatting.   There were 2 women sitting at a table close by and my ears perked up when I heard the word “IVF”.    I continued to eavesdrop (I know, classy) and this women was telling her story of multiple IUIs and failed IVF cycles. I literally could barely breathe because I started feeling so awkward and so bad about having Berkley right there in front of her.   I remember being in that place and feeling jealousy when I saw other moms with their babies. I HATE that having Berkley out and about with me can sometimes cause those same sort of feeling in other women.

There are so many couples that have been in my thoughts and prayers recently.  Lots of heart breaking stories. It’s just so crazy how many couples struggle with infertility these days.    I think one thing that got me through infertility and losing Cade was completely trying to change my mindset and not letting those things define me as a person.  I remembering brainstorming what I was good at and really trying to make a difference in those areas- just put the focus elsewhere for awhile.   Infertility and loss doesn’t define someone, they just add to the overall story.

To the woman at the coffee shop- I’m so sorry you are going through this. I so badly wanted to come up to you and let you know that although I probably looked happy and stress-free with my little baby that it wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies….

 


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