March 11

Two years ago I was in a hospital bed anxiously awaiting the birth of our first baby. Our first son.  I had NO idea what was about to happen in just 2 days.  March 13th is Cade’s second birthday.  After the events that happened earlier this week I wanted to cancel all of our plans but I am feeling much better.  One of the reasons we moved back to KC was to be around family and that’s exactly what I want to do on Sunday. Not only was Cade our son but he was a grandson and a nephew. I want us all to just hang out and remember/celebrate that little boy who literally flipped our world upside down in so many different ways.

I think the thing that has rocked me the most this week is all of the feelings that I keep just under the surface bubbled up on Monday after I talked to my nurse.  I couldn’t sleep at all on Monday night. Tuesday and Wednesday I tossed and turned and worried all night about me & about some of my friends going through IVF at this very moment (4 super dear friends- all within like 6 weeks of each other!!). I also got contacted by a couple this week who lost their 4 1/2 month old to SIDS and they have been weighing heavy on my heart.

Tuesday morning I had tentatively planned on taking a sick day. I’m pretty sure miscarriage = sick, right?  But I woke up, I put my game face on. I had a super productive day and just kept thinking how I am so lucky, so blessed to be Berkley’s mom at this very moment. She is my little anxiety pill 🙂

She is ELEVEN months and I just can’t get over her sweet little face in this picture.  We are busy planning her bumble bee (“B”) themed party!  I cannot believe ONE is right around the corner.

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4 thoughts on “March 11

  1. Vanessa Reply

    She looks like such an Otto in that picture…SO pretty 🙂 I know this is a tough time for you for so many reasons, but I think it’s amazing that you’re choosing to focus on Berkley and be thankful for your blessings. Sometimes that’s easier said than done when you’re in the thick of it. Love you friend!

    1. andthencamebaby Reply

      Ok- I was looking at Adam’s baby pics and I think she maybe more Griffin than Otto… but she definitely morphs back and forth.

      Love you friend!

  2. Ali Reply

    You are such an amazing person Em, and I just love you and your family to pieces. Do something for yourself this weekend, and know you are in my thoughts all the time. Love you!

    1. andthencamebaby Reply

      Thanks Ali 🙂 Love you!

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